DQYDJ 18: Turning Your Loved Ones Into Jewelry

Posted on Sunday, June 29, 2008 by Melanie

EP 18: Turning Your Loved Ones Into Jewelry (33:18)


Welcome to Episode 18 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is joined by Mary the Sober Girl of A Drink To Be Sober while Jerry travels to the Land of Lincoln to be with his love.

  • The guestest with the bestest

  • Frodo -- half the puppy he was

  • Melanie hates pilling her cat, because it makes her feel like Sybil's mother

  • Expressing the anal glands and why it's good to wear glasses while doing so

  • Melanie says go see WALL*E -- it's fabulous

  • Mary is strong woth the Animation-fu

  • How to use an anniversary present at the slot machines

  • Melanie makes a financially responsible decision, dammit

  • Old people have a habit of dying at the most inopportune times

  • Melanie is one traveling girl this fall

  • Rent-A-Litter -- the next new transportation fad

  • Mary took a hit from an overweight chihuahua (CHIHUAHUA!)

  • Melanie misses her body of water

  • Turning your loved ones into jewelry with LifeGem

  • We have email!

    • DQ Rick

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ 17: Remembering George Carlin

Posted on Thursday, June 26, 2008 by Melanie

EP 17: Remembering George Carlin (39:25)


Welcome to Episode 17 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie talks about her guardian angel Brian, Jerry explains why a story needs a beginning, middle and end, and we remember the genius that was George Carlin.

  • Driving and packing and driving and packing...

  • Jerry thinks he looks insane on our website

  • Yes, we have video of a partially topless Jerry

  • Melanie has a summer cold

  • Jerry's looking forward to winter in Illinois

  • Chicago does get lake effect snow

  • Remembering George Carlin

  • Melanie tells a story about her guardian angel, Brian

  • If you want to study God's laws, study physics

  • Melanie's going to be 42 this year -- how Douglas Adams

  • Voicemails are at the end of the show due to technical difficulties

  • We have email!


  • How to make a GOOD remake

  • We discuss Walt's pubic misadventures

  • Secrets of the Industry:
    A story needs a beginning, middle and end

  • We have voicemail!


  • Why we don't need 10 Commandments

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ Videocast 01: Jerry's Going Away Party

Posted on Sunday, June 22, 2008 by Melanie

Videocast 01: Jerry's Going Away Party (5:20)


Welcome to Videocast 01 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where we get together and thow Jerry a going away party before he heads off to Illinois. Naturally, things get a bit weird...


And yes, I know things look pixilated. I was using my pocket camera that also takes video -- SOME of us don't have flip cameras, you know...


Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ 16: Men Have Vaginas, Too

Posted on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 by Melanie

EP 16: Men have Vaginas, Too (30:08)


Welcome to Episode 16 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie reveals the truth about vaginas, Jerry packs for his move to the Land of Lincoln, and we both get White and Nerdy.

  • Jerry is in the middle of packing

  • The truth about the clitoris


  • Melanie dons her sex educator hat...again

  • Men have vaginas, too

  • Melanie got her early birthday present -- a Palm T|X

  • Welcome to Portable Writing Technology Corner

  • White and Nerdy

  • A slightly stressful day

  • Searching for a segue

  • Jerry wants to live the simple life

  • Melanie, on the other hand, wants Henry Higgins' library

  • Secrets of the Industry:
    Avoid passive voice

  • Jerry is a tech emeritus

  • The Mac vs. PC jihad

  • We have voicemail!


  • Technical difficulties

  • Coming soon -- the all-singing episode

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ 15: Chester Drawers And Making A Bubble

Posted on Monday, June 16, 2008 by Melanie

EP 15: Chester Drawers And Making A Bubble (35:38)


Welcome to Episode 15 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry bulks up, Melanie works the weekend and we ask for help regarding a very annoying pussy problem.

  • Jerry is the Incredible Bear-Like Person

  • Jerry got donuts for Father's Day

  • Farewell, Tim Russert

  • Melanie did the work thing this weekend

  • Does anyone know that Dennis Kucinich brought 35 articles of impeachment against Bush?

  • JJ really, REALLY needs meds

  • Anyone want a mouthy tuxedo cat?

  • Kitty TV!

  • The royals are streaking again

  • Secrets of the Industry:
    Use a good hook
    Write for timelessness

  • We have email!

    • Stacy
    • Cassandra

  • What Jerry saw in Finland



  • We have voicemail!

    • Nina
    • Kathy
    • Joe

  • Chester Drawers and Making a Bubble

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ 14: This Is Gonna Be A Short One, Folks...

Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 by Melanie

EP 14: This Is Gonna Be A Short One, Folks... (16:25)


Welcome to Episode 14 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is tired, Jerry is sick, and voicemails are very, VERY welcome.

  • A pair of busy lesbians

  • Jerry is all about the fish tacos

  • Melanie finally sees (at least part of) THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH

  • Who knew Rip Torn was such a hottie in the 70's?


  • Does anyone know that Dennis Kucinich brought 35 articles of impeachment against Bush?

  • We have voicemail!


  • A closing message from the BBC

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ 13: We Say "Herbs" Because There's a F---ing H In It

Posted on Sunday, June 08, 2008 by Melanie

EP 13: We Say "Herbs" Because There's A F---ing H In It (37:00)


Welcome to Episode 13 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie has received an epiphany from Eddie Izzard, Jerry drinks coffee and talks about the importance of language, and things get a little Skypey towards the end.

  • Slower, and with more intensity

  • Jerry is not an alcoholic

  • Two beers a day is good for a man, honest

  • Melanie liked SEX AND THE CITY (and she REALLY liked David Eigenberg)

  • How to discuss "tuchus lingus" delicately

  • Front row seats at the Eddie Izzard concert

  • Eddie loves language, and it shows

  • Melanie receives an epiphany: she must SLOW DOWN

  • Secrets of the Industry:
    Learn how to use language

  • We have voicemail!


  • We have email!

    • Nico

  • Yes, Melanie has made money off smut

  • Bad knees suck

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ 12: Customs Took My Beef Jerky

Posted on Wednesday, June 04, 2008 by Melanie

EP 12: Customs Took My Beef Jerky (31:28)


Welcome to Episode 12 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where life is looking more and more like science fiction, Jerry's tired and Melanie tells a story about drunken fencing.

  • Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee

  • Life is looking more and more SF

  • Don't remake BARBARELLA, dammit

  • "I reject your reality, and substitute my own"

  • Melanie has con crud, and Jerry is tired

  • Jerry's daughter is back from Africa

  • Customs took Jerry's beef jerky

  • Melanie's upcoming weekend in Oklahoma City, OK

  • Sharing Trek memories

  • Jerry thanks whoever bought him On The Bottom

  • Ryan, where's our phone call?

  • Hello, podcasters!

  • Melanie does not fight with foam swords

  • Drunken fencing stories (and Melanie is a were-lesbian)

  • THE FALL -- cool movie

  • Secrets of the Industry:
    Know Your Market

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!

DQYDJ 11: You Use Your Tongue Purtier Than a Twenty Dollar Whore!

Posted on Monday, June 02, 2008 by Melanie

EP 11: You Use Your Tongue Purtier... (32:06)


Welcome to Episode 11 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is fresh from A-Kon, Jerry enjoys time with his daughter before moving to the Land of Lincoln, and we discuss the fine art of posing action figures. Also, please excuse Melanie for cackling like a hyena throughout the show -- she's well and truly burnt, people.

  • The aliens won't let Jerry talk about it

  • Melanie spent the weekend at A-Kon

  • Anime cons = lots of skin

  • We have a live studio audience

  • Jerry goes on a daddy/daughter date

  • See SPEED RACER before IRON MAN -- trust us on this

  • Jerry's leaving on a jet plane

  • When Godzilla texts

  • David Gerrold -- great writer, sort of a poopyhead in person

  • We lost Hedley Lamarr -- godspeed Harvey Korman

  • "Here she comes to save the day!"

  • Melanie may be in her 40's but she still buys dolls, dammit




  • We have email:

    • Trucker Alex
    • Kathy
    • Shelba

  • We have voicemail:

    • TruckloadBear
    • Stacy

  • Melanie explains the origins of Albin, the gay caterer who was our connection to the underworld

  • Jerry was left alone for weeks at a time, which made for great pool parties

  • Melanie's memories of HS parties past

  • Secrets of the Industry:
    Write your passion

  • Jerry formulates a consipracy theory about his hubcaps

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-666-4187


Thanks to Sweet Diss and the Comebacks (http://www.myspace.com/comebacks) for permission to use clips from "Dunder and Dwightning" as our theme music. Go buy their stuff, people!