Hello Petaluma and Rancho Cucamonga, California!

Posted on Saturday, June 27, 2009 by Melanie

Yeah, I'm checking out the Feedjit stats. So, how's the weather out on the Left Coast?

While out in the back yard doing battle with a bush

Posted on Saturday, June 27, 2009 by Melanie

I was listening to the "Secret World Live" concert on my iPod, and noticed something interesting about "Kiss That Frog." If you kinda squint at it (and let's be perfectly honest here, it's not as if Peter Gabriel never sings about sex) it could be taken as a subtle paean to the joys of oral sex.

Sweet little princess
let me introduce his frogness
You alone can get him singing
He's all puffed up, wanna be your king
Oh, you can do it, come on
Kiss that frog

So what's one little kiss
one tiny little touch
he's wanting it so much
I swear that this is royal blood
running through my skin
can't you see the state I'm in
kiss it better

I'm just sayin'.

And you thought my penny whistle playing was bad

Posted on Saturday, June 27, 2009 by Melanie

Last year, Lyndon found a fairly decent violin at one of the local antique fairs (the dealer was selling instruments) and bought it for me as a birthday present, since he knew that I was interested in learning how to play. However, I never felt comfortable playing it in the apartment as our soundproofing was nil and I didn't like disturbing the neighbors.

However, we are now in the house, and one of the things I promised myself when we moved in was that somehow, somewhere, I would start violin lessons. And lo, my first one was last Thursday, with a very nice local teacher. Since the first session was really kind of an intro/orientation/evaluation session, we talked about my musical background and what instruments I played (he seemed impressed that I did horn line arrangements for my Blues Brothers band back in high school) while he examined my violin, pronounced it acceptable, and restrung it because the strings were pretty well shot.

And then he tried playing it. After some consideration, he said that it felt odd and sounded sort of strange, as well. And then he took a closer look at it.

Oh, he said. This isn't a violin. It's a viola.

Ah, I said. Um. Er. Well, I guess I'm taking viola lessons, then.

Which is going to be interesting, as the viola uses the alto clef and I've only ever sight-read treble clef, but I guess I can learn the transposition. So he restrung it yet again with viola strings, said that I should pick up a viola bow (it came with a violin bow) and told me which music book to pick up for next week's lesson.

And so it seems that I will be playing viola, aka the Polish Joke of the orchestra. I never do things the normal way, do I?

DQYDJ 76: One, Two Three -- UNGH!

Posted on Monday, June 22, 2009 by Melanie

EP 76: One, Two Three -- UNGH! (43:08)


Welcome to Episode 76 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick bottoms out on Pirates of the Caribbean, Melanie gets wet and flashes her bra, Jerry invites people to write in and ask for Secrets of the Industry, and Stacy is played by a small aubergine because she's really damn busy taking care of two autistic people. Please don't kill us, Stace.

We have voicemail!
Scotty the Little Aussie Battler
DQ Rick

We have email!
Aaron Stephens
Andrea
Gina from Boston
Kathy the Foreign Correspondent

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-666-4187

And remember, Angelenos, I will be in your neighborhood in July for this!



STEVE ALLEN THEATER
at the Center For Inquiry
West 4773 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 666-4268
Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays
7/10/09 through 8/2/09

DQYDJ Special Episode 03: Note To Self...

Posted on Thursday, June 18, 2009 by Melanie

Special Episode 03: Note To Self... (17:16)


Welcome to Special Episode 03 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Stacy sneaks into Melanie's office while she and Patrick are at Gay Days and records a Very Special Episode.


How old am I?

Posted on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 by Pat Gaik

12, apparently...this made me laugh like a drain.

Adventures at EPCOT!

Posted on Tuesday, June 09, 2009 by Melanie

pat_babaloo_soarin

pat_rodan_babaloo_soarin
Soarin' with Babaloo, Patrick (and Rodan)

pat_date_france
Patrick finds love in the French pavilion...

warren_gargoyle
...and then Warren gets in on the act.

warren_rodan_france
Our impression of France -- damn tasty!

podcast_flavor
Let me show it to you.

butt_pirates_caribbean
Butt Pirates of the Carribean.

presenting_behavior
"The bull elephant backs up..."

raspberry_beret
They wore raspberry berets (the kind you find in a second-hand store)...

My new wallpaper

Posted on Tuesday, June 09, 2009 by Pat Gaik

In honor of my new non-reciprocal life mate, Wes Stone of Live it Up!


Isn't he just dreamy?

Scotty Is The New Stacy!

Posted on Tuesday, June 09, 2009 by Stacy

Dear Listeners,

Recently we received a e mail from Scotty the Little Aussie Battler requesting that I be swapped out to make room for him.

To this I said: Go for it.

I thought to myself...Self, why go on doing this podcast? I mean really, I will be spending a great deal of time out at the lake this summer doing a great many things. Hiking, drinking beer, paddling around in Kathy the foreign correspondent's canoe, drinking beer, sitting in the hot tub, taking the kiddos to the pool, drinking beer, and lastly but certainly not least, drinking beer while driving around in the golf cart.

This takes up a great deal of my time, you see, and I figured it would be nice to have an understudy...you know, sort of like a backup, auxiliary Stacy. Not as good as, you know, *me* of course, but still someone who can spot me when I get too busy (or hungover) to get on a podcast with my sister who will call my house incessantly every Sunday evening at 8pm as I'm downing Motrin and watching reality TV on VH-1.

So I decided to introduce you all to my new understudy, Scotty. Say hello, Scotty.

Scotty: Hi!!!

So Scotty, do you have anything you'd like to say to the listeners?

Scotty: Hi!!!

Umm, well, don't worry listeners, perhaps he's a little--

Scotty: Hi!!!

Ooookay......say, Scotty, when birds fly up in the sky, they get up there pretty--

Scotty: Hi!!

Yeah......and if someone passed you a homemade rolled-up cigarette and you smoked it, you would get--

Scotty: Hi!!!

Ohhhh nooooo!!! Terrorists have taken over the DQYDJ studio, and they are going to--

Scotty: Hi!!!

--jack the studio! Stop them, stop them! Wait, I'll get the hammer out of my purse and threaten them! Ooohhh, now they are--

Scotty: Hi!!!

--tailing it out of here! We did it! They won't be up to any more--

Scotty: Hi!!!

--jinks while we're on duty. Whew! I'm beat from that day of crime fighting. Let's go out and get a--

Scotty: Hi!!

--ball and talk about your salary. I want you to ask Melanie for a lot of money so I can have a raise when I get back from the summer. I really have--

Scotty: Hi!!

--standards so make sure you keep all your earnings in my desk drawer down in the sub-basement. As a matter of fact, I'll expect you to have the whole thing dry-walled, decorated and clean before I get back. I'll expect to see it spic & span down there.

Do me a favor though. Don't use too many harsh chemicals because the vapors can travel up through the air vents and get Mel, Jer and Patrick--

Scotty: Hi!!




Come to think of it, I'd better stick around.

At the Atlantic Dance Hall...

Posted on Saturday, June 06, 2009 by Melanie

And so begins the Fashion Show with Melanie's hat and fan...







Glee Club of the Damned

Posted on Saturday, June 06, 2009 by Melanie

Reviewing a Parade of Pretty

Posted on Saturday, June 06, 2009 by Melanie


Taffy and Kevin reviewing pictures of the day.

Friday Night at BOMA

Posted on Saturday, June 06, 2009 by Melanie


Warren and Rodan.


Big Fatty and Miss Wes, observing the carnage across the table.


The Battle of the Boobies (Nicole and Melanie).


Pod Is My Day Job -- Taylor, Taffy and Patrick.


Larry Klye and Babaloo.


Awwwwwww!


Patrick and his new non-reciprocal life mate Miss Wes.


Everyone loves them some Taffy!


I've decided -- I'm adopting him.


Would you care for a little tart? Or how about this pastry?

First Night: Dinner at the Wilderness Lodge

Posted on Thursday, June 04, 2009 by Melanie


Patrick and Taylor. Don't ask.


Taffy and Melanie.


Babaloo and Taffy.


Taylor, where's your hand?


Da Boys -- Rodan, Babaloo, Michael, Patrick and Taylor.


We always knew they were strange...


The Taffster, doing a Patron shot.

Mel and Pat's Carnage at the Magic Kingdom

Posted on Wednesday, June 03, 2009 by Stacy

Dear Mel and Pat,

Just a quick note to say I hope you both have a wonderful time at Disney! Melanie, please get a picture of Pat w/ mouse ears on! Mickey Mouse wont know what hit em!

Safe and happy travels you two!

Stacy

p.s. Pat, leave the key to Mel's office at DQYDJ headquarters under the door to the sub basement k? I need to rifle through her office to find the new credit card she's hidden...I mean carrying.

Potentially vs. Realistically

Posted on Tuesday, June 02, 2009 by Pat Gaik

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'
The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.
So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'
The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'
The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'
The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars.
But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a homo.'

DQYDJ 75: Gay Days, Here We Come!

Posted on Monday, June 01, 2009 by Melanie

EP 75: Gay Days, Here We Come! (46:31)


Welcome to Episode 75 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie talks about her upcoming (and oral gratification-free) trip to Los Angeles to see NEVERMORE, and Patrick waxes rhapsodic about Podcasterpalooza.

We have voicemail!
Kevin Bee
Luna

We have email!
Debbie from NJ

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-666-4187



STEVE ALLEN THEATER
at the Center For Inquiry
West 4773 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 666-4268
Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays
7/10/09 through 8/2/09