Okay, I guess it could be worse

Posted on Wednesday, August 31, 2011 by Melanie

At least JJ doesn't try to get Jordan thrown out with the trash.

DQYDJ Videocast 09: Return To The Vet

Posted on Wednesday, August 31, 2011 by Melanie


Welcome to Videocast 09 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie hauls the fourth of the Fletcher Felines into the vet for his badly needed vaccinations and checkup. Needless to say, the haulee isn't pleased at all.





Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Call us on our listener line: 206-338-3070

It's a tough job market out there

Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2011 by Melanie

DQYDJ 147: Holy Spooge, Batman!

Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2011 by Melanie


(33:01 - 37.9 MB)


Welcome to episode 147 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry explains his fourth novel and enthuses about Kindlegraph.com, Patrick is off with a sick headache, Stacy is teenager wrangling, and Melanie is back from Armadillocon with a tale about rampant cocks. And as promised on Episode 146, those of you with the DQYDJ iPhone app will receive Melanie's Greek mythology short story as an extra.

Featured song: More Kissing In Porn Please, We're British by Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer

We have email!
Margie

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070



LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

For you SHERLOCK fans out there

Posted on Monday, August 29, 2011 by Melanie

A shirt designed by my awesome antipodean buddy Noxika and available at RedBubble -- go Team Awesome!

Speaking of Cecilia Bartoli

Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2011 by Melanie

Okay, yes, the facial contortions are worthy of Jim Carrey, but dear sweet mother of Cthulhu the woman can SING.

DQYDJ 146: Be Responsible -- Pay For Your Porn

Posted on Tuesday, August 23, 2011 by Melanie


(40:55 - 46.9 MB)


Welcome to episode 146 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie does not need a porn intervention, thank you very much, Jerry is running into problems with energy drinks, Patrick is rehearsing his tushie off while listening to opera, and Stacy is at death's door. We also present the DQYDJ Jukebox with our selected tracks:

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070



LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

DQYDJ 145: They're All Brown, It's Fine

Posted on Monday, August 22, 2011 by Melanie


(36:16 - 41.6 MB)


Welcome to episode 145 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Stacy is planning an intervention (which will apparently involve kegs and beer in pop cans), Melanie wants to see Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann's birth certificates, Jerry is having too much fun with his new soundboard, and Patrick ate 40 pounds of Chinese food because he had a coupon.





Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070



LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

Jerry Got Interviewed!

Posted on Monday, August 15, 2011 by Melanie


And a marvelous interview it is, too, with our own regular listener Tracy Morris who talks with Jerry about sexy androids, the search for the Holy Beer, and the future of e-publishing. I also find it extremely humorous that she has this to say about his extracurricular activities:

When Jerry is not working on novels about sexy androids or holy beer, he has several podcasts that he helps put out including Don’t Quit Your Day Job, which started as a writing podcast and morphed into four friends picking on one another.
Truer words were never spoken. Go on over and give it a read!

DQYDJ 144: She's In The F#*%ing Attic!

Posted on Sunday, August 14, 2011 by Melanie


(46:55 - 53.8 MB)


Welcome to episode 144 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is delighted to be overseeing an actorcast, Stacy is...somewhere, Melanie has decided to give up editing and is releasing this as is, and Jerry is off playing pool with Obama. We also welcome our very special guests Auntie Vera and Satyr69.

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070



LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

If you think about it, it DOES make sense

Posted on Friday, August 12, 2011 by Melanie

I've been up all night sewing. Kill me now.

Posted on Monday, August 08, 2011 by Melanie

But at least the Olivia fairy doll is done and ready to be delivered to her owner. And now, I must fall over and die.



And these are because I found them on my camera and the LolCats tags seemed appropriate.


An open letter to all forming Atlantic tropical depressions

Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2011 by Melanie

(Courtesy of my good friend Castiron):

Dear air masses:

You are all wimps. Your mothers were the belches of manatees, and your fathers smelt of rotting fish. There are baby hummingbirds producing greater wind strength than you. You have the moisture content of a piece of beef jerky buried in dessicant in the Sahara. Tropical depressions? You barely rate the name of mid-latitude minor disappointments. MJN Air makes cleaner landfalls than you do. Drunken pigeons wrapped in electromagnets have better senses of direction than you. Disco balls have greater angular momentum than you. You are worthy only of scorn and derision. If you wore clothes, they would be ill-fitting and unfashionable and dry. You are so incompetent that when your mist refracts sunlight into rainbows, the colors are out of order. You are so powerless that babies born the day of your landfall will be named for you, and they will have greater wind and moisture production than you. Oxygen attempts to escape the atmosphere in order to be spared the shame of being found in you. Migrating plankton are undisturbed by your passing. You are pitied by ceiling fans and mocked by ceiling leaks. You are disgraces to the atmosphere. Boats passing through you take no notice of your existence. You are tedious and unimpressive. Meteorologists would place you on their maps out of pity if they were not laughing at your pathetic attempts at weather. Umbrella manufacturers are put out of business by the very sight of you.

In short, I sit here in the land of drought and 104F/40C highs and I mock you for the useless collections of gas that you are, secure in the knowledge that you couldn't find me if the National Weather Service gave you a map and GPS, the entire remaining population of fish in the Gulf formed an arrow to guide your storm tracks, and Houston and Corpus Christi both put up signs saying "THIS WAY".

30N 97W. If you dare.

East Coast Vs. West Coast, British Style

Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2011 by Melanie

In this corner is the banjolele-playing, tea-sipping gent known to British nouvelle burlesque and Chap-Hop aficionados as Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer:


And in this corner is the steampunk pith-helmeted defender of a cup of brown joy, the one and only (in this dimension, anyway) Professor Elemental:


No, don't thank me -- noblesse oblige, don't you know.

DQYDJ 143: Randy Gitt, At Your Cervix

Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2011 by Melanie


(38:21 - 44 MB)


Welcome to episode 143 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry explains his connection to Stockton, CA and talks about his upcoming trip to the nation's capital, Patrick is a high-energy ray of sunshine who needs a deep tissue massage, Stacy is back from Florida and too pooped to podcast, and Melanie is causing problems for innocent pornographers. We also pimp Slow Death In The Afternoon Podcast, because that's how we roll in the Shire.


We have voicemail!
Satry69
The Little Aussie Battler

We have email!
Anthony

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070



LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11