A note to the kidnappers

Posted on Tuesday, September 16, 2008 by Melanie

The whole world now knows... my podcast partner, Jerry J. Davis, was kidnapped for ransom this morning. This is a recent photograph of him.



Jerry, if you're watching, we love you. And this... well, this is what waits for the people who took him. This is your ransom. Ten thousand dollars in unmarked bills, just like you wanted.



But this is as close as you'll ever get to it. You'll never see one dollar of this money, because no ransom will ever be paid for my podcasting partner. Not one dime, not one penny. Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter. So congratulations, you've just become a ten thousand dollar lottery ticket... except the odds are much, much better. Do you know anyone that wouldn't turn you in for ten thousand dollars? I don't think you do. I doubt it. Hell, Kathy would do it in a heartbeat.



So wherever you go and whatever you do, this money will be tracking you down for all time. And to ensure that it does, to keep interest alive, I'm taking out ad space on every major pdocast for every broadcast...for as long as it takes. But...and this is your last chance...you return Jerry alive and uninjured, I'll withdraw the bounty. With any luck you can simply disappear. Understand...you will never see this money. Not one dollar. So you still have a chance to do the right thing. If you don't, well, then, God be with you, because nobody else on this Earth will be.

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4 Comments

  1. Pat Gaik |

    HOLY S*%#!

     
  2. Stacy |

    Dont worry Pat, I've got it covered.

    Besides, you get used to pepper spray after the fourth or fifth time.

    Relax......trust me.

     
  3. Anonymous |

    i WILL TAKE THE JOB. Where should I deliver their pinkies too? Then I will send their ears and finally lips and balls. Let me know. I happily accept your offer to get Jerry back alive!

     
  4. Stacy |

    YOU STAY OUT OF THIS ANONYMOUS!!!!

    SOME FORIEGN CORRESPONDENT *YOU* ARE!!!

     

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